Nope. I would not tell him it's annoying or anything. Provide her with a dish of hard candy or something chewy, such as Twizzlers. "I was on the bus this morning and I almost lost my dang mind, this person was chewing so loud" or "I couldn't even finish. She has to be strategic. Walt: And if this establishment is too small to have an HR department, I think your way is the best way. My co-worker incessantly pops and sucks gum, even pulling it in and out of her mouth with her fingers. And as frumiousb says, add in additional anecdotes about your hatred of gum noise. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. Many of the employees in this area are just past entry level, working on specific contracts, and the gum chewer is a manager, jovial but a bit thin-skinned. I loathe the chewing of gum and all the sounds that come with it. If … There is one sound that dwarfs all of them in its sheer malevolence to my ears. Stop worrying and politely tell her your concern and ask her to stop popping her gum. But, alas, they do not. Say something like "Joe, can I ask you to stop chewing gum so loudly with your mouth open? If not, then she can establish a point person to talk to her, but only one person, since the gum chewer is not thick-skinned. She needs to have some allies in this. Purchase headphones and listen to music, but loud, so as to provoke an office-wide conversation about noise. Way more effective than earplugs (and more normal looking in an office). Want to know how to stop it? Post was not sent - check your email addresses! but it would be neurotic to care. I stop whatever I'm doing and stare at them until they notice. FiveThirtyEight commissioned a SurveyMonkey Audience poll that ran on Oct. 25, 2016, and received 1,048 responses. If your deskmate has a slurpy soup for lunch one day, it’s best to plug in earphones and disengage. @MorganJerkins. Good luck; as someone with misophonia, I feel your pain. People love drama. Say it like it is! One easy and non-confrontational way to deal with a loud coworker is by blocking out the noise. It's so ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm even asking this but, can you actually chew your gum more quietly when I'm around, please?" We don’t want anyone getting fired over something like this. Trump Leaves The White House Today, More Unpopular Than Ever. You would think that those folks who smack their gum would actually hear it and realize the terrible sound they are making. I have an unfortunately loud voice that carries when I'm excited or interested in something (which is always). if they aren't, stop worrying. Morgan: We did. (If he wasn't your direct report, then I would suggest a direct approach. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. I chew gum constantly and occasionally find myself snapping it - I would not mind in the least if a coworker (or boss) mentioned that it was annoying them and asked me to stop. She would forget once in a while and I'd just give her the "look", she'd take the gum and put it on her nose like the teachers in school used to do years ago. Need our advice? To stop talking to yourself, try chewing gum or pressing your lips together when you feel the urge. This is your direct report so this is very simple, direct them to stop smacking their gum, no explanations needed (and do leave the culture stuff out of it). Very diplomatic ones. And since we can gather that there’s a power imbalance between the letter writer and the gum chewer, going to HR could be the only way she has to get a neutral third party to flag the problem. This will. I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. But, I urge you to have the support of someone higher if possible, just in case. It's actually not so bad! Please, please chew with your mouth closed. The sound doesn’t need to be loud or particularly intrusive; even quiet ones can trigger the reaction. But if he chews loudly or wears pungent cologne every day, that’s a … — Misophoniac. Sorry, just thought of one possible approach-- my current boss is similarly sensitive to chewing noise. Something like: "Begging your pardon, and I don't mean to be rude, but when you chew your gum it's a bit loud and kind of distracts me from my work." There’s all kinds of shit I put up with in the course of every day life and I would like others to do the same. But! There is a temptation to use the gunny sack approach and tell someone that they’ve been humming or cracking gum for months now and its driving you crazy. Ha ha, remember my whole weird thing about it." "Can you chew that gum more quietly, please? "Can you please close your mouth when you chew, its a little loud and disturbing." Being polite won't work. That's the whole point of being the boss. Not if he's your direct report. They are wrong. Clipping their nails 2. Mouth the words instead of saying them out loud, or write them down in a journal instead of vocalizing them. Theoretically, any sound can trigger misophonia, but it’s commonly associated with noises that come from the body – chewing, swallowing, sniffing, even breathing. All rights reserved. But if the letter writer talks to her co-workers about it, make sure it’s when they are out at lunch — someplace away from the office building. What should I do? It’s driving me mad! Morgan: Yes. They also don't like the sound of throat clearing. Thanks!". No one has probably confronted the gum chewer because of her high position. I expected for people to advocate for the letter writer to gather all of the employees to stage a kind of coup d’état or something along those lines. And shout out to the 26 respondents who are me and would just escalate it. Then I … Misophonia, a disorder which means sufferers have a hatred of sounds such as eating, chewing, loud breathing or even repeated pen-clicking, was first named as a condition in 2001. “However, it isn’t an issue of overly sensitive hearing – a misophonia sufferer’s hearing is exactly the same as everyone else’s,” says Gupta. Even though they're designed for more constant noises, like an airplane engine, I've been amazed by how much else mine can block out. But of course I want to be told when I'm disturbing someone's ability to work. You May Have Misophonia The hatred of noisy eating is an actual neurological disorder called misophonia, and it can impact the ability to learn He'll be fine, even if he's humiliated for a short while. But there is one. For people who suffer from it, mouth sounds are common triggers. We all find it annoying. "Chewing is almost universal. I wonder if it’s possible for the person to use earplugs to block out the sound or replace it with music. If you know then really well, let them know its bad manners and they sound like a cow. People are alternately on the phone or a computer, and it can be loud sometimes, but not deafening. Get HR involved because the letter writer cannot stir up drama that way. Also, today we learned that about 15 percent of respondents are nonconfrontational to a fault and would just purchase headphones and hope for the best. When this happened to me (after it got so bad I went to see my line manager, my GP and a psychologist about it, because I didn't know how to handle the stress it caused), I asked the gum chewer if we could have a chat, popped into a meeting room and simply asked that he stop smacking his gum as it was affecting my ability to concentrate. (And probably start listening to something like soothing music or white noise with my headphones or quietly seeking a more distant spot in the office to which you can relocate.) If not, establish a point person to talk to her. Welcome to the first edition of Survey Says, FiveThirtyEight’s new advice column. These are uncomfortable conversations, but my boss had to tell one of my co-workers to wear deodorant/shower more. I can’t stress that enough. He didn't smell after that. This isn’t a thing you typically see in other advice columns! This is a pretty difficult combination. Morgan: Oh, that’s even better, actually. Or you can privately pull him aside and ask if he can chew his gum more quietly because you can hear it from where you're sitting? Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. Gum. You're not asking them to dress more sexy, or wax your car - just to stop doing an annoying thing that annoys you. Younger people love mess. Gum chewing is almost universal. if you were somehow chewing obnoxiously loud, chances are people would be shooting you dirty looks. frumiousb and Charity G have the right idea. The fact that you are asking him to be quiet is enough. Don’t do that if you can avoid it. Besides, have we forgotten our manners of not talking … Walt: Yeah, this seemed to be the advice that best protected both the gum chewer and her perpetual victims. Send us your quandary! So the next time you are chewing gum, take a second and listen to how you chew. Good luck. There was a girl next to me that was chewing gum. I like jacquilynne's answer in theory, and normally I think mentioning something bothersome nicely works out, but in this case I'd suck it up. Try implicating yourself more than the loud chewer, though: "Argh, I have this stupid thing where I cannot handle any gum noise. For example, "Jane, remember that conversation we had at … A large amount of office problems can be attributed to the lovely people you see and share space with every day: your colleagues. Best wishes with this challenging situation. adding to ibo's comment- yes we can sometimes hear these things. These could include someone next to you smacking gum or chewing food loudly. I'm sure some of my coworkers just stew in silence, annoyed with my irritating volume control problems, and that thought hurts me far worse than a quick, respectful "Check yourself.". @WaltHickey, Morgan Jerkins is a writer living in New York City. Be it gum, cereal, bananas (okay, we have to stop because we're grossing ourselves out), we are glad you are enjoying it, but we would all prefer to neither hear it, nor see it. This person should start a foundation, no, a political movement working to take down the Open Office Floor Plan Industrial Complex. Complaining (incessantly) 7. I am 100 percent behind that. Join 6,470 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. Walt: Oh yeah, this is wonderful. Walt Hickey was FiveThirtyEight’s chief culture writer. Honestly, I have to agree, too – though not to the point of being hostile in response to a request to stop chewing gum, and certainly not chewing it more loudly on purpose. It’s human nature, you know? Presenting another option is a nice way to get her to stop chewing gum. Walt: Right. I ask people to chew their gum more quietly all the time. Hell is a symphony composed of the sounds of chewing. How Do I Handle An Annoying Gum-Chewing Co-Worker? Use a casual reminder should the loud chewing persist. Around a fifth of people thought that none of what we said was worth hearing, so there may very well be better solutions to this predicament. Purchase earplugs. Some of the less-than-lovely things they might be doing with their time include: 1. You can tell Parker that it would … You can get a small desk fan to create some white noise to kind of drown it out. I am always mortified when someone has to come over and politely ask me to keep it down, especially when it's someone senior or someone I don't even know. © 2021 ABC News Internet Ventures. Morgan: It can help for a short while, but perhaps not long term. Partisans Don’t Just Disagree, They Hate One Another. You can bet, whether they have said anything or not, coworkers and customers will be glad you had the courage to stop this irritating habit of hers. I think because the gum chewer has a higher position in the company and she does not have thick skin, this is the best possible choice. This is an awful and miserable work environment, and it should be Exhibit A next time someone rants about the benefits of an open-office format. How did you get your child to stop chewing on... How do I stop my 4-year-old son from chewing. Loud chewing is the #1 pet peeve. Do You Buy That ... President Joe Biden Can Unite The Country? This is something that I think he'd feel humiliated to hear no matter how you put it. That’s why the long-term plan is my Open Office Liberation Front, which will strike at the heart of the enemy. It could also be something like the sound of someone clicking a pen or tapping a pencil. if you're chewing with your mouth closed chances are that you're ok. Bob, you sound like my Dad, could you chew with your mouth closed please? Question: “I work in a small office with a woman who loudly cracks and snaps her chewing gum. Walt Hickey: I think the letter writer should quit her job. Does Noisy Eating and Loud Gum Chewing Drive You Crazy? But perhaps I just have less faith in humans than I would like to admit, because evidently, we have some very nice and considerate people who voted. I know it's silly, but for some reason it distracts me so much that I … Best way to tell him (if at all)? My coworker chews gum really loudly and it annoys me. Talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. We presented respondents with Misophoniac’s letter and asked which is the best advice given the situation. 6. She wasn’t being necessarily loud with her chewing—in fact, it’s likely that no one else noticed it except for me. People think that the ambient background tapestry of hell is made of screaming and the ripping of flesh. chewing/cracking gum in this case) is pointing out someone's foible to them. Earbuds are a genius idea. I didn't mention the stress, or the psychologist. All posts copyright their original authors. It's so ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm even asking this but, can you actually chew your gum more quietly when I'm around, please?" Next time you’re getting vexed that someone next to you is loudly munching and crunching on their food, don't fret – it could just be your creative brain. “Instead, it’s a disorder of the sensor… ), (And whatever you do, do *not* discuss his ethnic background as part of the case. Can you try to chew it more quietly, please? Walt: Still, it sounds like this is a thing that other folks have caught on to. Have a discreet conversation with human resources about it. Perhaps that puts too much aggressive in “passive-aggressive,” though. I would recommend the letter writer talk to her colleagues to see if anyone has ever talked to the gum chewer about her habit. I think it's fine to politely ask, but as an alternative, could you try wearing noise-canceling headphones (with or without music, depending on the level of the noise)? Earplugs are inexpensive and drown out unwanted sounds in the office, whether it is your babbling coworker's voice, his chewing of gum or his blasting of heavy metal music. Should she reach out? If not, establish a point person to talk to her. She should buy earbuds and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat. Gum popping and loud chewing obviously distracts from those. There are thousands of us waiting for the call. The earbuds must be the mediocre kind, the kind that you can totally hear what’s going on from the outside of them. I have a Bose version that are tiny earbuds rather than full headphones. Whistling, humming, or singing 5. Walt: I think the retaliation must be far greater. Morgan: LOL. Walt: Still, while “tattle to HR” was the easiest answer here, it’s encouraging to see that for those who aren’t in an office with a dedicated human resources department, it’s far from uncouth to delegate someone to have the conversation. Walt: Still, this seems like the kind of thing that human resources was explicitly created to address. I mean, headphones can do a lot of things, but when it comes to isolating yourself from the sights and smells of a performative gum chewer, they’re going to fall flat. I work in a large open “bullpen” with three desks in each of a dozen or so rows. The younger someone was, the more likely they were to say to “just buy headphones,” or “pick someone to talk to them.” I’ll confess, I did not know what human resources was for quite some time, and I did not fully grasp what health insurance flex accounts were until roughly six months ago, so maybe HR has to step up and reach out to us. Many people chew gum to curb unwanted (and unhealthy) snacking cravings and avoid weight gain, but the constant chewing … In each installment, our two advice-givers will take a reader question, debate what he or she should do, and then survey a panel of people about what the best course of action really is. While it seems like a small thing, this is influencing the quality of the work environment for dozens of company employees. The offending gum chewer has been at it for a couple of months, and though I’ve heard one or two people joke about the popping, no one has ever confronted the perpetrator. People get embarrassed to think someone has been noticing something for months but not said anything. Then I say "I hear that is some good gum because you're chewing it awfully loud!" If you’re going to be chewing gum, watch out for the smacking. He was absolutely mortified, and made a huge effort to stop. Morgan: This is not what I expected at all. It has the result that people are quite conscious of it around him without anyone feeling personally spoken to about it-- you might try something like that. Making personal call… Focus on only self-talking when you’re alone … If yes, then buy those earplugs ASAP. Chewing gum 6. Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. We really did. Its reputation as a diet aid can backfire. Well, as most etiquette experts will tell you, the only thing more rude than violating the laws of etiquette (i.e. "Hey, you probably don't realize it, but I can actually hear you chewing your gum all day, and it's distracting. Also, depending on your location and kind of organisation, it could be used to bolster a perception of unfair bias in case of dispute about performance or pay. Morgan: Not surprising at all! Purchase headphones and listen to … 2. Tell him. Walt: Oh look, we had a bunch of grown-ups respond to the question. Morgan Jerkins: Oooh the gum chewer is a manager and thin-skinned. Open-mouth chewing makes us feel insane. Wearing clothing that’s too casual 8. Manners won't help. Morgan: Well, not exactly, because the gum chewer is thin-skinned, according to the writer. Morgan: Yeah, it can’t be the noise-cancelling ones. Well, I think that’s a bit radical. In that case, you can't use any of these suggestions because of the power differential. Adjust to your desired level of self-effacement, particularly upon reminders. He handles it by making big jokes about his own phobia and telling stories about how his kids can make him crazy with gum. I recommend that you get some headphones and use them whenever you want to block out noises around you. Wearing strong perfume or cologne 4. I think one of the better features of this advice column, for what it’s worth, is the panel’s ability to flatly reject our advice. Even if you think it's a factor.). Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Just say something nicely and in private. It's actually not so bad! Eating pungent food 3. You're one of the sweetest people I know but if I hear you crack that gum one more time or hear you chewing it, I'm going to strangle you. 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